2008+Storys

 Borat & The Flag Pole In the marmalade forest, between the make-believe trees, there was a sloth named Borat who had a terrible & very smelly disease of Chickenpoxdiareaitis. He also likes to cough up flem & spit it out on people from his very high flag pole. He has a t-shirt which has "I heart flem" on it & he likes to steal dynamite from the local church, this is why it never blows up. One day Borat was swinging from the top of a flag pole by his top with a stick of dynamite in his mouth when suddenly all of this chickenpox, lickwidy stuff began to pour out of his mculth. It was so acidy that it light the fuse on the stick of dynamite that he had in his mouth & BANG! he exploded Borat came crashing down to the ground just missing a big soft pile of pillows & landed in a big pile of bear poo in a super market. then what he saw next gave him a massive fright! because there was two flying pigs upside down & they were heading strait for Borat! When Borat saw the pigs coming an aside firing black lickwidy stuff fell from Borat. The black lickwidy stuff fell from Borat. The black lickwidy was so black when it covered the flying pigs there eyes turned black so the pigs couldn't see, the pigs smashed into the ice cream freezer, Borat ran to the ice cream grabed as many as he could & took of down the street. he had to run back to the store because he had forgotten the cookies & cream. Once he had got it he ran all the way home, that night he had a feast on ice cream.

Tara Tara was my dog, her bright blue eyes shining like a sun beaming down on the waters edge. when I think of her the smell of mint lingers in my nose, she looked like a giant fury snowball of fun she felt like a soft woolly sheep. She reminds me of a bundle of joy. I remember her wet slimy nose and her big sloppy tongue. The blue couch we still have now is were she used to sleep. We still have Tara's best friend Betty, who is 16, and nearly ready to go to be with Tara where ever she is. One morning when i woke up, Tara didn't come to give me a good morning lick. I jumped out of bed & I saw Tara on the couch. I thought she was sleeping so I walked up quietly, picked her up and put her on my bed while i got her some breckfast I came back with her food, put it on my bed closed the door a little and went to the lounge to watch t.v she stayed in there till lunchtime that's when we got worried. We took her to the vet, she was dead. We berried her at grandads next to a kowhia tree. She still sits down there under the kowhia tree. I still remember her and I all ways will. And this is what I read 1/1/1423

Dear Mr Horrisss Diary Book Today my addictive cannibalistic problem got worse I bit off my brothers toe. I got sent to the court and got charged a fine of $190 and 3 months in a Crazed cell. I want to stop before I am fifteen because that is when I can be sentenced to death.

I hid the book under some old crusted newspapers when I heard my family come home. Then the next day when my family were at a rugby game, I went back into the attic and looked under the newspapers. The book wasn’t there! Then, I heard that noise again! This time I didn’t run, this time I turned around. There standing right in front of me was a girl with coal on her arms. She looked fifteen and had grey dull eyes and black seaweed looking hair. As I turned to run something hard hit me in the head and when I woke I saw the book on my bed, it was open on a certain page. As i read it said

19/2/1423 Today I ate my room mate in Crazed cell but he was going to die anyway and I was SO HUNGRY!!!!! My family doesn’t speak to me that much any more. Only my friend comes and visits me even though I did bite off her finger. Tomorrow’s my birthday, my fifteenth birthday. I know i’m going to be sentenced to death tomorrow so i’m just making the day go a bit slower until my time. No one in Crazed cell has made it past seventeen.

I heard a car pull up in the drive way and a door open, a scream followed. I thought it was Penny being silly, then my family was making these weird phone calls. My family was crying, I asked them why they were crying but they didn’t answer. I asked again, and again they didn’t reply. I kept repeating myself but they still didn’t answer me. Little did I know that the girl was standing right behind me. “They can’t hear you” she said in a silent crackled voice. Then she said “I am sorry”. I looked out the window and looked down at my head on the ground and so were all my bones. I looked on my arm,teeth marks!

the swimming recount

I was four on my way to five. It was a saterday so mum decided that we could go to the pools after five minuets of begging. we arrived at the pools all dressed up in our swimming togs. I asked mum if she could take me and Eleanor down the deep end of the pool. Eleanor was on a fludder board with some rubber rings that kept her a float. I was on a fludder board just a fludder board. my mum turned away to talk to someone she reconised then suddenly my fludder board fliped I couldnt grab a hold of it I started shouting but all that came out was gergel gergel gergel. evan though I was droning I never seemed to sink but I never seemed to float. then mum pooled me out after what had seemed like hours. I spent the rest of that afternoon in the shellows.

Soggbe st Standred, New Faza 2468

5/11/08 Mr Flonkadonk Flake University University Teaspoon Road Wonka, New Faza 1357

Dear Mr Flonkadonk

I am sending you this letter because I would like to Teach an acting class in your school. I have experience in acting and I think I can Share my knowlege with the young people. I am very pationate about teaching as well so that is why I think I will be very good at this job. I am dertemind to get this job and I hope you will consider my application Yours truly Penellope Winter

Penellope Winter

MRS PUSS’S FAMOUS LEMON GOO.



One very hot day Mr Puss went on a walk down to the goo lagoon to collect some ice cold water, a sour lemon from the wild lemon tree, and 120 teaspoons of Mr Teaspoons finest sugar. All for Mrs Puss’s famous lemon goo to sell at the Nine Lives fair.



As Mr Puss walked down to the goo lagoon he saw Mr Teaspoon drinking from the lake. Mr Puss said to him “do you mind giving me 120 teaspoons of your finest sugar for Mrs Puss’s famous lemon goo to sell at the Nine Lives fair” “yes” replied Mr Teaspoon as he took off with his teaspoon, to go and get some sugar.



When Mr Teaspoon had left Mr Puss thought he could get some water. He looked into the lake but all there was, was a dried up mud puddle. He went to the wild lemon tree but there were no lemons. All there was, was six crying musrooms and some raggy green moss.



A friendly turtle noticed Mr Puss’s wining meow from his very high tree house and came to Mr Puss’s assistance. “How may I help you” said the friendly turtle. Mr Puss noticed a sign painted on the turtle saying “we’re listening whats up?” so Mr Puss replied. He siad “what do you want turtle?” “I want to help you,” he said as he squiggled under Mr Puss’s arm. “My wife is making some of her famous lemon goo to sell at the Nine Lives fair, but there are no lemons from the wild lemon tree, no ice cold water in the goo lagoon and I need sugar as well”. When Mr Puss looked around the turtle was gone. But in his place, under his arm was a bag of lemons, a big bottle of ice cold water then something hard hit him in the head and it was a bag of fine fine sugar.

By Camille Healy

=BARTHOLEMU=

actual size Its Habitat Dark damp places mostly found in the sewer pipes of Miami in America. Food The bartholemu eats rats, mice, and sometimes it may drink the water from the sewer. The Upper Lip The upper lip is made for making a noise that attracts mice and rats so it makes the food supply for the bartholemu much better The Lower Lip With the lower lip works the same as the upper lip except the lower lip attracts mice. The Two Side Lips with these lips it helps the bartholemu to eat the mice and rats for the bartholemu has no tongue or teeth to chew it so it swallows it whole, they feel no pain. How It Survives Nobody know